All posts tagged: writing

Reflection: September 

Firstly, I have officially been home for 3 months! Feels so much longer, as a lot has changed personally and continues to shift, so let’s get onto what took place this month. – Work has been incredibly exhausting and stressful. And rumour has it that this isn’t even as stressful as it can be, sigh. HOWEVER after having a meeting with my boss a few days ago I’ve been reassured that I am on the right track, he sees much more potential in me then I can which is a good source of motivation. Thanks boss! – A friend is currently planning a  business venture and asked me to partner up. Literally when she told me the idea I was like “I knew we were friends for a reason” all I can say that it is in line with my dream job which combines working in music and helping people. This is pretty exciting as you know I have been trying to work on finding my ‘’true calling’’ for years, now that it looks like …

In This Space … 

Decided in an effort to write slightly longer posts and embrace vulnerability, I should share a few “journal” type entries. Not sure whether or not to include full dates, or just day and month, so I’ll play around with it and see how I feel.  31st August;  It’s 10PM and I’m sitting here,asking myself if it really is easier to cling onto these memories, but also wondering why I cling onto them so tight to begin with?   My only conclusion is that I’m worried about what’s outside of this space.  Despite my heart breaking a little more each day, somehow I still want to stay here. Its painful but it doesn’t yet feel like it’ll be any better out there.  In here it’s dark and I feel sick and scared of what will be revealed to me next.  I have to cry myself to sleep, or speak to anyone who’ll listen and then and only then is it over and I can again see a future.  Suddenly I start reflecting on the never ending …

Life + Blog Update With A Side Of .. Hope?

Since briefly mentioning my break up last week (here) I’ve been trying to re-organise myself, whilst attempting to do the same with my blog as my writing has fallen way behind. Something which I never saw coming, I thought I wouldn’t be able to shut up and have about 20 posts up already but, nope.  That was until last night. The combination of no sleep, having no contact with Mr C and a weekend fuelled by things people do at weekends, I ended up writing Mr Cheerful a bit of a book. This morning, I briefly went over what I had written and the parts I looked at seem so tangled in sadness, shock and confusion.  Emotions of going through a break up? But for some reason I feel the same way I did when my Grandfather died. Which is that I have no right to feel this way. I shouldn’t be sad anymore. I should already have moved on from this.  I should already be .. happier. Think these thoughts may also be down …

Life Update (With A Side of Jet Lag)

Hello! Hello! Today I wanted to share what’s kept me away from here, beginning with the news that I am no longer in Japan and finally back home in London. HURRAH but first lets go back to my last days in Japan and the ridiculousness that took place. Forgive my ramblings I wrote this SUPER jet lagged. Goodbye (for now) My Loves … During my last week and a half I became part owner of these two. How did this happen? I went to get my dog his vet certificate for travel and bumped into a distressed lady and three kittens in a box, by the way this is the second time I have met a lady with a box of stray kittens at the vets. She stroke up a conversation with me as the only other English speaker and we bonded over animals.I found out later that she was a flight attendant and due to leave that very same day, so she desperately wanted someone i.e the vets to look after them. After a …

Contemplation, Week 9

Happy Tuesday! And welcome to week 9 of Contemplation, where Desley from musings of a frequent flying scientist, chooses a prompt from her Kikki.K A Sentence a Day Journal and invites us to share our response. * My post from last week, here. * Today’s prompt: What’s your favourite topic of conversation. Think by now you’ve probably guessed that I’ll have more than ONE answer. First topic is about people. Any conversation that has some form of human connection to it has the ability to hold my attention for hours and hours! It is such a diverse topic and can take you from discussing relationships, to what makes someone a psychopath. Which is a conversation I had recently, and ended up speaking about for an unhealthy amount of time, it was a really interesting though! I think that growing up I was always curious about people and trying to figure them out, I guess that curiosity never left. So topics to do with us mere mortals, I guess is probably my favourite. A close second would be …

Contemplation, Week 8

Hello! And welcome to Week 8 of Contemplation. Each week Desley from musings of a frequent flying scientist, chooses a prompt from her Kikki.K A Sentence a Day Journal and invites us to share our response. * My post from last week, here. * Today’s prompt: Who do you want to talk to right now? There are many people I wish I could speak to right now and although I cannot speak to them this second, I can in the immediate future thanks to good old technology. My friends have been an incredible source of support, motivation and inspiration these past few years especially and I don’t think I would’ve done so well without them in my life. Despite that, I know it isn’t a substitute for hugs and face to face conversations. And the people I would LOVE to speak to and have back in my life right now, would be my grandparents, namely my grandad. He passed away around 6 years ago (in May), but remains the reason I continue to try and …

Contemplation, Week 7

Hello! And welcome to Week 7 of Contemplation. Thanks again to Desley from musings of a frequent flying scientist, for starting the Contemplation series. Each week Desley chooses a prompt from her Kikki.K A Sentence a Day Journal and invites us to share our response. * My post from last week, here. * This week’s prompt: What quality is most important to you in a friend? When I first read the question I made a mental list of qualities, but the two that stuck were loyalty and trustworthiness. It’s difficult choosing just one, I know I keep breaking the rules tsk tsk  😉 so I’ll briefly share why both are important. Loyalty. Such a fantastic one to have, especially towards the people you love. Hearts are formed and broken because of this. There are people no longer in my life because I came to find out that they had been disloyal and once that trust is gone, it’s difficult to get back. Definitely a prerequisite. Trustworthiness. I know it has a lot of similarities to the above BUT I was also …