All posts tagged: personal

Reflection: September 

Firstly, I have officially been home for 3 months! Feels so much longer, as a lot has changed personally and continues to shift, so let’s get onto what took place this month. – Work has been incredibly exhausting and stressful. And rumour has it that this isn’t even as stressful as it can be, sigh. HOWEVER after having a meeting with my boss a few days ago I’ve been reassured that I am on the right track, he sees much more potential in me then I can which is a good source of motivation. Thanks boss! – A friend is currently planning a  business venture and asked me to partner up. Literally when she told me the idea I was like “I knew we were friends for a reason” all I can say that it is in line with my dream job which combines working in music and helping people. This is pretty exciting as you know I have been trying to work on finding my ‘’true calling’’ for years, now that it looks like …

In This Space … 

Decided in an effort to write slightly longer posts and embrace vulnerability, I should share a few “journal” type entries. Not sure whether or not to include full dates, or just day and month, so I’ll play around with it and see how I feel.  31st August;  It’s 10PM and I’m sitting here,asking myself if it really is easier to cling onto these memories, but also wondering why I cling onto them so tight to begin with?   My only conclusion is that I’m worried about what’s outside of this space.  Despite my heart breaking a little more each day, somehow I still want to stay here. Its painful but it doesn’t yet feel like it’ll be any better out there.  In here it’s dark and I feel sick and scared of what will be revealed to me next.  I have to cry myself to sleep, or speak to anyone who’ll listen and then and only then is it over and I can again see a future.  Suddenly I start reflecting on the never ending …

Reflection: August

One word to describe August is bittersweet. Do wish I could leave it there, but as per my bio, I want to share the good and bad with you… as much as I possibly can. I’ll start off with the “bitter” part, so that I can end on a sweeter note. Firstly myself and Mr Cheerful have broken up. There were many reasons, most too personal to share and I’m not too good at doing personal when it comes to relationships. Either way, the end result is we are no longer together. My go to response when friends and family ask me about it, is “ask me in a month”. Because in this moment, there are no real words, just facial expressions, coupled with awkward silences and usually followed up by a failed attempt at a smile. That’s all I have to say about it, for now. Making its way onto this list is money. Financially this month hasn’t been great,  I could’ve managed my money a lot better. SO in a bid to improve …

Contemplation,Week 14

Hello! Welcome to week 14 of Contemplation, where Desley from musings of a frequent flying scientist, chooses a prompt from her Kikki.K  A Sentence a Day Journal and invites us to share our response. * my post from Week 13, here * Today’s prompt: What challenge did you overcome today? One of today’s challenges was not letting doubt and anxiety of making it work take over. Myself and Mr Cheerful are currently in a long distance relationship, it’s the first time for us both. And at the moment we’re still in the teething stages of it all, the one where we try to get into a routine and battle out the big struggle that is time difference. He is eight hours ahead of me, when he sleeps I’m at work, and his at work whilst I sleep. Admittedly I am having a harder time with it than I expected. Maybe it’s due to the lack of sleep (my dog isn’t used to city noise yet and barks through the night) or maybe I am understandably sad that Mr …

Life Update (With A Side of Jet Lag)

Hello! Hello! Today I wanted to share what’s kept me away from here, beginning with the news that I am no longer in Japan and finally back home in London. HURRAH but first lets go back to my last days in Japan and the ridiculousness that took place. Forgive my ramblings I wrote this SUPER jet lagged. Goodbye (for now) My Loves … During my last week and a half I became part owner of these two. How did this happen? I went to get my dog his vet certificate for travel and bumped into a distressed lady and three kittens in a box, by the way this is the second time I have met a lady with a box of stray kittens at the vets. She stroke up a conversation with me as the only other English speaker and we bonded over animals.I found out later that she was a flight attendant and due to leave that very same day, so she desperately wanted someone i.e the vets to look after them. After a …

Contemplation, Week 2

Hello! Hope you are well? Super excited to share week 2 with you. Thanks again to musings of a frequent flying scientis, for starting Contemplation. Each week Desley chooses a prompt from Kikki.K A Sentence a Day Journal and invites us to share our response. My first week’s post here. I think this prompt fits perfectly with the tone of how I’m feeling on this gloomy Monday: What would you attempt if you knew you couldn’t fail? I must admit that it was a bit difficult to answer for many reasons, the major one being it’s not just failure that I’m afraid of, but also the other F … Feedback. If there was any guarantee that success was on the other side, I would definitely finish up a few of my stories. For as long as I can remember I’ve loved writing stories, sometimes I read them and laugh but other times, I feel a little sad that I didn’t finish them. It could have the potential to be something great, if only I worked harder …

Birthday Love …

Yesterday was my birthday and to be honest, I had been trying to avoid this particular one for the longest time and whoop there it was. I had been avoiding it because it’s one step closer to the age where everyone puts even MORE pressure on you, to have your ‘’sh*t together’’. And right now I don’t feel like I do. At. ALL. This post was going to be about not being happy with where I am in life right now, but looking back, that seems SO trivial and irrelevant in light of recent events. Mr C sadly lost his Grandmother last week. The news is still fresh and understandably it’s not been the best week for him and his family. Despite everything that’s happened, Mr Cheerful still went out of his way to give me the most memorable and lovely birthday. He showed up for me in ways I can never fully repay him for. The outpouring of heartfelt messages, and sharing of photos has been touching to witness. What I’ve learned from his …