Firstly, I have officially been home for 3 months! Feels so much longer, as a lot has changed personally and continues to shift, so let’s get onto what took place this month.
– Work has been incredibly exhausting and stressful. And rumour has it that this isn’t even as stressful as it can be, sigh. HOWEVER after having a meeting with my boss a few days ago I’ve been reassured that I am on the right track, he sees much more potential in me then I can which is a good source of motivation. Thanks boss!
– A friend is currently planning a business venture and asked me to partner up. Literally when she told me the idea I was like “I knew we were friends for a reason” all I can say that it is in line with my dream job which combines working in music and helping people.
This is pretty exciting as you know I have been trying to work on finding my ‘’true calling’’ for years, now that it looks like with a lot of hard work, time and patience it may just come true, I am beyond excited! Couldn’t sleep that night after she told me and we both screamed down the phone ‘’YES YES YES’’. Will let you know how we get on when everything is in place.
– Writing for other people. I was asked a few months ago to write for an online magazine, it’s not huge (yet) but their concept is amazing, as they have built a platform for people who love to write to practice, and become more confident in sharing their perspectives on a whole heap of topics.
Personally due to everything that has happened, especially in the last two months I haven’t really posted on here or there, but thankfully have drafts that with a little tweaking are ready to go. Once I have more work up there, that I am happy with, I will definitely share the site with you.
– Emotionally I am doing much better then I was a month ago, still have the odd days where I wrestle with doubt, life, the future .. you know the 2AM conversations you have with yourself.. what has helped is that I recently got back to my reading and have discovered a few things about people, including myself and why we do the things we do. Basically my favourite topic of discussion.
I discovered some not so nice reasons as to why I myself do certain things, which I am not ready to talk about with the internet, but has been discussed amongst friends and people who need to know. The good news about what I have learned so far is that I am definitely where I’m supposed to be. Which was one of my biggest fears.
And with that, for once I am not running away but leaning in to the rawness that comes with self-discovery, and the inevitable uncomfortableness of learning about yourself. I have only just begun this adventure and I already feel a massive sense of relief, I’m more grounded and hopeful that in time, I’ll truly believe that the universe has always been on my side and that life as I have experienced with the people around me, can be pretty sweet.
Onwards and upwards …
Whats in store for October? Birthdays, sorting out my dogs passport (eek), Halloween fun and planning another short holiday with friends for November. This month will also involve a lot more reading, going to the gym and generally learning what it means to relax.
This whole relaxing thing is new to me, as I have always lived on autopilot / survival mode. Terrible, I know.
This topic came up whilst on my recent trip to Greece, whereby a dear friend told me that I should leave my phone far away from me in order to truly enjoy this time away.
It took a few days but when I finally did, I started seeing everything from a different perspective. This digital detox allowed me to appreciate all the little things that were taking place, without techy distractions. Which resulted in me learning three wonderful things;
One, I really do have such sweet (albeit crazy, sometimes pain in the butt) group of friends. This was shown in the way that no matter what was going on, at the end of the day we all took care and looked out for each other.
Two, you can love many people at the same time. In this case in the friendship context, I love each of these crazy kids so fiercely and protectively, like I would a close family member. They are my dysfunctional family of choice.
Three, everyone really is fighting a battle we know nothing about. I am a chatterbox, however when I finally shut up and really listened, I found out about a lot of heartache, personal issues that I wasn’t aware of before. It revealed to me how sometimes when you’re experiencing your own set of troubles, its so easy to forget that other people have problems too.
It doesn’t matter who’s fighting the biggest battle, that’s irrelevant because what is important is understanding that we all have them and they should matter equally.
Last thought(s), my wish for you for this month is to take a moment or two to ask yourself some difficult questions about, well .. yourself.
Write it out no one needs to hear / know about it. Create a safe space for you to do this and see what unfolds. It will be uncomfortable, might even make you angry but inevitably it will lead to great things and people coming into your life.
If that’s not your thing, that’s ok too. Instead I hope that you simply enjoy this spooky fantastic time!