Reflection
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Reflection: August

One word to describe August is bittersweet. Do wish I could leave it there, but as per my bio, I want to share the good and bad with you… as much as I possibly can.

I’ll start off with the “bitter” part, so that I can end on a sweeter note.

Firstly myself and Mr Cheerful have broken up. There were many reasons, most too personal to share and I’m not too good at doing personal when it comes to relationships. Either way, the end result is we are no longer together.

My go to response when friends and family ask me about it, is “ask me in a month”. Because in this moment, there are no real words, just facial expressions, coupled with awkward silences and usually followed up by a failed attempt at a smile. That’s all I have to say about it, for now.

Making its way onto this list is money. Financially this month hasn’t been great,  I could’ve managed my money a lot better. SO in a bid to improve on this area, I’ve decided to take part in a 52 week budget challenge.

Basically every week you have to save the equivalent of whatever number of week it is. For example week one you save £1 / €1 / $1 and on week 12 you save £12/ €12 / $12 and so on. The concept is simple and at the end I expect quite rewarding. There’s even a pretty cool checklist I found so you can tick each week off as you go along, which I love.

Unfortunately I got way too carried away dreaming up what I would spend my savings on (travel! travel! travel!) that I didn’t take any notice of the source. I’ll try and find it and update here.

Lastly, now that I’m well into my second month at the new job, my enthusiasm has well and truly worn off. Think it dissapeared sometime around last week, which I know may be down to recent events .. But could also be down to it being BEAUTIFUL weather outside and my wishing I was out enjoying it, rather then stuck in an office.

However work has also squeezed its way onto the Sweet as can be list below, so it’s not all bad.

orange - flower

As much as I would rather be outside drinking in the sun, work has actually proven to be a great distraction. Things are super busy right now and I don’t get much down time, meaning less time to think about how I REALLY feel.

Now I know that relationship experts and everybody around me, would say that it’s a bad idea to use work as a distraction and that I should sit down and process my feelings. To them I say .. I will .. One day .. When time does that thing people always say it will.

Speaking of people, I don’t know where I would be without my friends. Definitely not in a position to be writing this, let alone out of pjs, and not watching Bridget Jones (on repeat) or eating my weight in ice cream.

Ok the last one is a lie. I literally just ate a tub of Hagen Daz. Other than that, it’s all true. I’ve been able to function well enough to at least go to work, eat and even laugh. Like full on belly laughs. Which I didn’t think I would be capable of doing ever again.

All of this I owe to my friends and surprisingly enough, my housemates. They have motivated me to go outside and kept me out of my room. For that alone, I sincerely thank them. Having only known the roomies shy of 4 weeks, they’ve accepted not only me and my drama, but also my dog into their home.

A final list note, it’s Notting Hill Carnival this weekend. This finds its way into “bitter” because exactly three years ago I met up with Mr C after carnival. I know that day will bring about a ton of emotions, ones I’m trying to avoid. 

But also sweet, as I get to spend it with my bestest friends and dance like nobody’s watching, because life as my mother once said is: GOOD. Not always and not particularly in this moment, but it is and will be, because mums are always right. 

Right? … 

Now before I go in search of more ice cream, I hope August was a wonderful month for you. And that September will be full of magical moments.

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1 Comment

  1. Pingback: Life + Blog Update With A Side Of .. Hope? | XO NIN

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